Gay Boyfriend
by Mothball-Milkshake
Summary: A story in which Haruhi befriends Koizumi, and helps him get what he wants. With some misadventures along the way. Inspired by the song 'Gay Boyfriend' but not exactly a songfic. KoizuKyon. Rating has changed since creation.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer – I don't own The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi franchise, any of the characters, or scenarios. Haruhi and all related characters are the property of Nagaru Tanigawa. The song 'Gay Boyfriend' is written and performed by The Hazzards. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made, thank you.

One, two, ready, go

_Ready, go_

_Ready, go _

_Ready, go_

_Ready, GO!_

Haruhi snoozed quietly, lying on her arms, which were folded on her desk at the back of the classroom. English was a boring subject on the best of days, but with the sun shining directly in from the window onto her, and the teachers droning voice from the front of the classroom, Haruhi just couldn't keep her eyes open. That was, until the annoying boy sitting in front of her leaned back in his seat and nudged her with his elbow.

"Hmm?" she grunted, blearily looking up at him.

"Hey, quit sleeping," he told her, quietly.

"Why? It's a useless subject anyway. I'm never going to England!" she announced, pouting.

Kyon, the boy sitting in front of her, who also happened to be one of her only friends, just sighed.

"How do you know? You know, there's usually a lot of stories about aliens and physics in England," he told her, appealing to her eccentric nature.

She perked up. "Well then, if learning English will help me find strange things, then I shall learn English!" and she picked up her pen and began diligently taking notes.

Of course, this seemingly odd pronouncement from her was actually quite ordinary, considering what she usually came up with, so Kyon merely rolled his eyes and turned back to the front of the classroom. Haruhi noticed this exasperated look from him, and felt a twinge of anger. What right did he have to act as though he was any better than her?

"Oi, Haruhi," Kyon walked up behind her in the clubroom and tapped her on the head, dropping his bag on the floor as he did so. Haruhi felt a tinge of red creepy into her cheeks.

"What?" she asked, irritably.

Kyon sprawled inelegantly on one of the hard backed chairs in what was once the literature room, but which Haruhi had commandeered for her insane club, the SOS Brigade.

"Taniguchi told me something weird today."

"Who?"

"Taniguchi. You went to junior high with him," Kyon said, frowning.

Haruhi scoffed. "I don't remember everybody I went to junior high with," she said loftily.

Kyon looked irritated as he went on. "Anyway, I just wanted to know whether it was true that you once threw a guy into the school swimming pool."

Haruhi looked thoughtful for a minute.

"_Hey, come on, it's no big deal. I've seen them before," he had said to her, leering down at her much smaller figure. Haruhi crossed her arms firmly. "No! What are you, stupid? Who would ask such a thing?" she frowned off into the distance. Why had the males in her class suddenly started staring at her chest? She didn't see anything overly special in the growing, fleshy bulbs there. Hmph. Men. _

"_Come on, Miyu isn't this uptight," he continued on. Miyu was another girl in their class, slightly older than Haruhi was, and extraordinary well developed for her age._

_Haruhi started when he grabbed her arm and started trying to drag her off._

"_Hey! What do you think you're doing?! This is unacceptable, let go of me!" she pushed at him, wishing she could get rid of this week's annoying boyfriend. Suddenly, somehow, he managed to trip over an uneven piece of tile near the swimming area he had insisted they talk in. Letting go of her arm in surprise, he stumbled to get his balance. Suddenly coming up with a brilliant idea, Haruhi pulled her foot up in front of her, gave him a wicked grin, and kicked him in the gut. His look of winded surprise made her day as he splashed backward into the freezing water._

"Oh, yes. But he deserved it," Haruhi told Kyon carelessly.

"Right. I can't imagine what he would have done to incur the wrath of Haruhi," Kyon looked at her condescendingly. Anger flared up inside her again as he once again seemed to look down on her, but she was stopped from any rash actions by the appearance of Nagato Yuki, the original member of the literature club, and who seemed to have been shunted into the SOS Brigade by default once Haruhi took over.

The shock of seeing Nagato arrive after they did was enough to make Haruhi forget her tyrant.

"Hey! You're late!" she announced as Nagato calmly took her usual seat and opened a large, heavy book.

She looked up every so slightly, nodding as she said "Detention."

"Woah! You got a detention? What for?" the ever-excitable Haruhi was up on her feet and trying to annoy the answer out of the once again silent girl.

"It was probably a whole class thing, leave her alone," Kyon said, setting up an Othello board.

Haruhi eventually tired of Nagato's lack of response, and once again took a seat, slumping onto the table in boredom. Her quiet mood didn't last long, however, as the only other male of their group had just arrived.

"Sorry I'm late," he said, smiling.

Kyon rolled his eyes.

"It seemed somebody in the class had stolen the teacher's phone," Koizumi's smile faltered slightly as he took in the sight of Kyon sitting lazily in the chair, one elbow resting on the back of it with his hand resting on the side of his head, fingers pushed through his hair. One of his legs was stretched out in front of him, bent only slightly so as to allow his foot to rest comfortably on the ground, while his other leg was angled straight down from the knee. He absently played with one of the Othello piece with his other hand, a bored expression on his face.

Haruhi noticed the change of expression in her 'mysterious transfer student's' face, but was hardly sure of it, since his perfect mask was back in place within moments.

Koizumi Itsuki, recruited to join the Brigade because of the fact that he transferred into their school after the term had begun. He also happened to be an Esper, somebody with the power of ESP, which was probably the real reason he was dragged into this strange group. Haruhi had gotten it into her head that she wanted to meet Aliens, time travelers and Espers, but was completely oblivious of that fact that they in fact surrounded her. Koizumi Itsuki, the ever-smiling yes-man, granted with mysterious powers three years ago and transferred into this school this year. Esper.

Nagato Yuki, the silent-as-stone girl who was always found with her nose in a book, put on this Earth three years ago to study the girl called Suzumiya Haruhi. Alien.

Asahina Mikuru, the adorable girl who was kidnapped by Haruhi and forced to join this insane group, sent by her superiors to watch Suzumiya Haruhi because of a rift in the Time Planes, three years ago. Time traveler.

Thinking about how he was the only normal one in their group, Kyon realized that the club mascot was still missing.

"Hey, where's Asahina-san?" he asked, looking at Koizumi.

Koizumi paused in setting up a new game of Othello. "Oh yes, I bumped into her on the way here, she said she had 'urgent business' to attend to, and wouldn't be able to make today's meeting.

"Urgent business? What urgent business?" Kyon muttered.

"She said it was…'classified information', I believe were her words," Koizumi explained, smiling innocently. Kyon scowled.

_I'm tired of boys who make me cry,_

_They cheat on me and they tell me lies._

_I want a love who will never stray,_

_When he sees other girls, he looks away._

"MIKURU-CHAN!" Haruhi pounced on the smaller girl the next day at their meeting.

"Kyaa!" Mikuru yelled as she was forced onto the floor.

"What were you doing yesterday, Mikuru-chan?" Haruhi asked, sitting on the girl who was actually her upper-classman.

"N-nothing…" Mikuru replied miserably.

"Hey, get off her! It's none of your business what she was doing yesterday!" Kyon said angrily.

Haruhi frowned at him, but her excitement had gone. "Fine," she said, getting off Mikuru and sitting on her desk.

Kyon, ever helpful as he was, went to help Mikuru to her feet. Haruhi scowled at them, before noticing she wasn't the only one scowling. Koizumi was casting a dark look at Mikuru as well. Odd, he usually got on so well with the other members. Mikuru, too, noticed his look, and pulled her hand away from Kyon as though burned. "Ah, Kyon-kun, I'm fine," she said, forcing a laugh, and glancing apologetically at Koizumi.

"Asahina-san," Koizumi called across the room as he packed up the chessboard.

Mikuru glanced up from where she was neatly packing away her maid outfit.

"Are we still seeing that movie tonight?" he asked, glancing uneasily over at Haruhi.

"Ah-ha! You two are seeing a movie together!" as always, Haruhi had overheard. "Mikuru, you naughty girl!" she said gleefully, hugging the other girl around her waist.

"Uhm, Suzumiya-san, it's not like that…" the petite girl said, blushing.

"Of course it is! When a boy and a girl go to see a movie together, that's how it is!" Haruhi announced, pointing a knowing finger at the two of them. Mikuru cast a desperate eye in Koizumi's direction. "Uhm, no, it's really not, I'll explain later, okay?" she seemed to direct the question more to Koizumi than Haruhi. Koizumi smiled, and nodded.

"I'll see you at the complex tonight, Asahina-san," he said, before walking out of the clubroom.

"H-hey! You're not really seeing a movie with her, are you?!" Kyon stuttered, as he followed the other boy into the halls, closing the door behind him.

"Now, explain!" Haruhi demanded. Mikuru glanced uncomfortably at Nagato, who merely turned another page of her novel.

"Er, well, you see…it's not 'like that', we're just friends…" Mikuru said, knowing full well that this would not convince the boisterous girl in front of her. "What I mean is, I'm not really his type…"

"Hah! Of course you are! With your cute face and large breasts, what boy wouldn't want you?" Haruhi said, eyeing the full figure of Mikuru.

"Koizumi Itsuki…" said Nagato quietly, from the corner, drawing the attentions of both Haruhi and Mikuru.

"Is gay. Correct?" she finished, turning another page of her novel.

Mikuru turned red-faced and nodded almost imperceptibly.

"What?!" Haruhi shouted. "Why wasn't I informed?! This is important!"

Mikuru desperately looked for an escape route from the angry girl.

"Hmph. Anyway, why are you seeing a movie with a gay guy anyway?" Haruhi asked, looking at the door Koizumi had walked through earlier.

"Well, he's…uhm…easy to talk to, and since interested in K- in other guys, I know he's not only after me for one thing…" Mikuru attempted to explain.

"Easy to talk to? Not after you for one thing? Pah," Haruhi said, but she looked thoughtful nonetheless.

"Anyway, maybe you should try spending time with him sometime. He really is a good person," Mikuru said, as she pulled open the door. She grinned at Haruhi before leaving.

_And if he never kisses me well that's alright, _

'_Cause we can just, cuddle all night._

_Gay boyfriend, gay boyfriend,_

_I don't really care that you are queer._

_Gay boyfriend, gay boyfriend,_

_I never feel lonely when you are near…_


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer – I don't own The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi franchise, any of the characters, or scenarios. Haruhi and all related characters are the property of Nagaru Tanigawa. The song 'Gay Boyfriend' is written and performed by The Hazzards. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made, thank you.

_It'll be a great romance,_

_We'll go shopping and buy tight pants…_

"Mikuru-chan!" Haruhi pounced on the upperclassman as soon as she entered the clubroom. "I found a brilliant costume for you to wear!" and she was off again.

Kyon sighed and sat down in one of the foldable chairs at the table where Koizumi had already set up a Monopoly board. Koizumi smiled invitingly, and, having nothing better to do, since he knew Haruhi wouldn't listen to his protests about her manhandling of Asahina-san, he set the top hat on the start position. Koizumi decided on using the dog.

"Nagato-san, would you like to play?" Koizumi asked the girl who had just glanced up from her book and seemed to be watching them with very-slight interest. She blinked at Koizumi, but moved over to join them nonetheless, placing the car next to Kyon's top hat and Koizumi's dog.

After a certain amount of time had gone by, it seemed that Koizumi was just as bad at Monopoly as he was any other game he brought in. Unsurprisingly, Nagato was winning.

"Why do you continue playing when you're losing so badly?" Kyon asked, looking at Koizumi's small pile of pretend money and one property.

Koizumi merely smiled at the other boy and continued playing on merrily.

Kyon rolled his eyes as Nagato rolled the dice, somehow managing to get the perfect number she needed to advance onto the property she required to complete a set.

Haruhi sat in her commander's chair and fiddled with the computer. Kyon had no idea what she was doing, nor did he particularly care, until…

"KYO~N!" Haruhi shouted across the room at him.

He sighed, but nonetheless stood up to go see what she wanted. It seemed she had stumbled across an MMORPG, and wanted him to help her create an account.

After doing so, he walked over to continue the game with Koizumi and Nagato, who had been waiting patiently for his return.

Another ten minutes passed in silence, until the quiet was disturbed by the sound of the computer shutting down. It looked like Haruhi had already become bored of the game she forced him to make an account for.

"It was boring. It kept sending me on meaningless tasks!" she announced officially.

_Maybe now you know how I feel…_ Kyon thought privately, glancing up at their self-appointed leader, who seemed to be getting ready to leave.

"Ah…I think it's clear who the winner is," Koizumi announced, smiling at Nagato.

Kyon looked down at the board and saw that there was indeed, no possible way either he or Koizumi could win.

Koizumi began packing up the board as Nagato stared at him in silence.

"Oh!" Mikuru exclaimed quietly, from the corner.

Kyon looked at her in concern, thinking she had burned herself on the stove.

"Koizumi-kun, I'm sorry, I won't be able to make it to our meeting on Sunday…" she said miserably.

Koizumi simply smiled and inclined his head slightly. "No worries, I'm sure I'll be fine by myself," he told her, comfortingly.

"Ah…you were getting together?" Kyon asked, annoyed.

"Oh, yes. Don't worry; it was merely a convenient arrangement. Asahina-san here needed to go to the shopping center to get a new spring outfit, while I myself found that I was in need of several items. We arranged to go together, after all, I daresay you've heard the stories of molesters around nowadays?" Koizumi explained calmly.

Kyon nodded darkly.

"What a coincidence! I also need to visit the center this weekend! Koizumi, meet me at the station at nine O'clock Sunday morning!" Haruhi announced. And with that, it seemed Koizumi's new weekend plans were formulated, much to Kyon's chagrin.

* * * * *

Haruhi arrived at eight forty-seven the Sunday morning, to find Koizumi already standing and waiting for her.

"Good! At least you're always on time, unlike that slacker, Kyon!" she said loudly, walking up to him.

Koizumi smiled placidly at her. "Shall we catch a bus, or walk?" he inquired.

"Ah…let's walk. It's healthier!" Haruhi beamed, and they set off.

After a few minutes of walking in silence, Haruhi once again spoke up.

"Oh, yes, we're meeting Yuki in the center. It just seems ridiculous that all she wears is the school uniform, don't you think? I'm going to get her some new spring outfits."

"How thoughtful of you," Koizumi nodded to her, politely.

About ten minutes later, they arrived at the small shopping district.

"Yuki!" Haruhi called energetically, upon sighting the ghostly figure of Nagato.

Koizumi smiled and prepared himself for the no doubt exhausting day ahead.

_You don't care how big my ass is,_

_Just how fabulous my dress, is_

"Koizumi-kun!" Haruhi called out for the tenth time that half-hour. "What about this?" she stepped out of the changing room. Koizumi cast an appraising eye over her new attire, which consisted of a knee length, loose yellow skirt and a white tank top.

He grinned at her and nodded. "It suits you. However…I think something's missing…" he looked around for a few moments before picking up a straw sunhat with a large fake sunflower on the brim and placing it on her head.

Haruhi turned around to look in the mirror. "Hey! You're right! Excellent work! Five points!"

Koizumi smiled at the praise. Apparently Haruhi had recently come up with some sort of 'points system' for the SOS Brigade members. They were rather pointless, and she didn't keep track at all.

"…" Nagato pushed her door open and took a few steps out. Haruhi had chosen a pale blue, sleeveless, mid-calf length dress, and it suited her rather well.

"Any hair emergencies, Koizumi-kun?" Haruhi joked.

Koizumi stood back and looks at her thoughtfully for a moment, before picking up a matching blue headband with a small bow on it.

"Ahh! Cute!" Haruhi exclaimed. "Right! Next one!" Haruhi and Nagato simultaneously disappeared back into their respective change-rooms, leaving Koizumi to smile awkwardly at the shop assistants and rub his head as he sat down.

"So, which one is your girlfriend?" asked a friendly assistant.

Koizumi started at the sudden question, and laughed. "Oh, neither, I'm just here as a friend," he told the pretty young lady, whose name, according to her tag, was Shi-chan.

She giggled. "Let yourself be dragged along in the hopes of getting on one of their good sides?"

Koizumi chuckled uncomfortably at her continued questions.

"No, it's really not like that, I already – I mean, I already have somebody I'm…interested in," smiling innocently, he hoped this would dispel any further questioning. Apparently, he was wrong.

She giggled again. "Oh, coming along with these two girls to make her jealous? Perhaps she hasn't noticed you yet, hmm? Close friend, pretty face?"

Koizumi was really beginning to get annoyed at this assistant's persistence.

"Well, I doubt he'll be jealous of either of them, but yes, close friend, or at least, I like to think so," he said forcefully, continuing to smile pleasantly.

She faltered. "H-"

"If I may ask, how do you think this would look on me?" Koizumi cocked his head to the side, beamed at her, and held up a knee-length, low-cut, sleeveless purple dress against himself.

Shi-chan blushed a deep crimson, muttered something about having to organize shoes, and beat a hasty retreat. Koizumi ran his hand through his hair and regained his composure just as Haruhi once again stepped out of the change room.

"What do you think, I know it's not exactly summer-wear, but my mother is dragging me along to some wedding or other in the family, so I thought…Koizumi-kun?" she faltered, seeing his blank stare at the floor-length, ruffled, corseted and long sleeved black and red dress she wore.

"…Koizumi-kun?" she ventured again. "Are you with me?"

He shook his head slightly to clear his mind. "Yes, it's…wonderful," he said, honestly, not caring about the low, V-cut neckline which was what most boys his age would notice first.

"Any…uh…improvements?" she asked nervously, still a little unnerved by his response.

"Oh…uh…hold on, I think I saw a jewelry section over there…" giving himself some time to fix the calm expression on his face once again, and picked up a black choker with a red pendant attached to the front, grinning as he walked over and handed it to the loud brigade leader. She stared at it for a few moments, before announcing- "Okay! This outfit is perfect! It will unnerve my relatives, which is even better!"

Nagato finally stepped out of the change room, wearing the same blue dress from before and holding her uniform in her arms.

"Ah~ you're buying that? Good, good!" Haruhi said jovially, as she whirled back around into the change room to get back into the clothes she showed up in, three quarter length, ripped at the bottom blue jeans, and a green T-shirt with some kind of cute animal on it – Koizumi thought it was a duck, but he wasn't entirely sure, and felt rude looking at her chest long enough to decide. Once finished, she pushed the clothing she wanted to buy, including the two most recent ones, onto him, and the rest onto a nearby sales-assistant.

Going with the two girls to the counter to watch the make their purchases, Koizumi reflected on what he had said to the poor sales-girl.

* * * * *

Once again entering the main shopping complex, Haruhi whirled around to face him, her many shopping bags swinging wildly by her sides.

"Koizumi-kun! What did you need to buy?" she demanded.

"Oh, just some new trousers, maybe some shirts, you know…"

"Hmm…men's clothing…this way!" she pointed off into a random direction, and led the other two off to a large store devoted mainly to men's casual clothing.

"Let's see…this…and this…and these!" Haruhi went through the racks, pulling out cargo pants, jeans, slacks, and – leather pants?! – and loading them into Koizumi's arms. Soon enough she started on the shirt's section, pulling out a variety of colours of button up shirts, polo shirts, T-shirts, tank tops, and adding them to the ever-growing pile Koizumi was struggling to see around.

"Okay! This way, to a change room!"

The shop attendants stared at the mad girl rampaging through their store, followed by what seemed to be a pile of clothing with legs, and a silent girl who resembled a spirit.

"This first!" Haruhi announced, choosing a pair of brown cargo pants and a light tan tank top from the bottomless pile she had picked up, and shoving Koizumi into the change room. Tapping her foot impatiently, she asked loudly, "Are you done yet?"

"Um, just a moment…" Koizumi replied uncertainly. Studying his reflection in the mirror, he decided he quite liked the way the pants hung off his hips without appearing too lost, but he wasn't quite sure about the top…

"Hurry up!" came the annoyed voice from outside.

Decided it would be best not to keep her waiting, he stepped out, and held out his arms, as if presenting himself to her mercy.

"Hmm…not the shirt…try this!" she pulled out a tight black T-shirt from the pile and threw it at him, causing him to stumble back into the change room. He started as she slammed the door behind him.

This ensemble he liked much better, Koizumi decided. The shirt was tight enough to show off his lean figure, but not too tight it looked like he was trying too hard. Stepping out once more, he was met with a thumbs-up from his leader.

The next outfit she was happy with was a pair of flared, dark blue jeans and a white shirt that had the arms artfully ripped off.

He felt like he tried on countless amounts of clothes, from the black slacks with the dark blue button up shirt, to the Hakama-style pants with a black polo shirt, until, eventually…

"Now these!" Haruhi demanded, shoving the leather pants onto him, throwing a long-sleeved, dark green button up shirt on top.

"Oh, no, I couldn't-" Seeing the expression on Haruhi's face, he decided it might be wise not to argue.

He struggled to get the pants on – leather really was a troublesome material – but eventually got them up. He gasped in shock at how tight they became one he zipped them up. Feeling rather self-conscious, he was glad of how modest the shirt was.

"Come on! Don't be shy!"

"Er, I'm not sure I'm very-"

"Come on!"

His eyes widened at the commanding tone of her voice, and he sighed. It wouldn't do any good to deprive her of her new favourite dress-up doll for the day, would it?

Slowly pushing open the door, he took a few tentative steps forward.

Haruhi wolf-whistled. "Wow, Koizumi, good job!"

Koizumi turned around to look at himself in the mirror. He was glad he didn't wear boxer shorts – not that he was a briefs man, no, he just preferred the relatively tight under-shorts. His favourite pair was red with a-

Koizumi blinked at his internal monologue on his own underwear, before once again catching sight of his reflection.

He had to admit, they did look quite good on him. Loose past the knees, but above there they were very tight – though, he thought, coughing slightly – they certainly didn't leave much to the imagination.

"Here!" Haruhi excitedly pushed a pair of sunglasses on him, and even Nagato stared.

"That's it! You're wearing this to the next casual dress day!"

"Isn't that…er…next Thursday?" he inquired, nervously.

"Yes! Hmm…This would go nicely!" she pulled out a black belt with chains dangling from it.

"I'm sure I don't need a belt, the pants are quite-"

"Silly! It's for appearances! Now, what about…undo the top few buttons!"

Koizumi did so.

"Excellent. Now, how about we get you a collar…"

After much friendly arguing, Koizumi finally managed to convince Haruhi he did not need a collar to complete the outfit, though he didn't like the devious look in her eyes as she consented. She dragged him up to the counter, and he ended up buying the cargo pants, black T-shirt, jeans, white ripped shirt, the dark blue shirt, and the most recent outfit Haruhi had dress him in, belt and all.

"Well, I'd say that's a very worthwhile day!" Haruhi announced, signaling that she was, finally, ready to go home.

_Gay boyfriend, gay boyfriend,_

_I don't really care that you are queer_

_Gay boyfriend, gay boyfriend,_

_I never feel lonely when you are near_


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer – I don't own The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi franchise, any of the characters, or scenarios. Haruhi and all related characters are the property of Nagaru Tanigawa. The song 'Gay Boyfriend' is written and performed by The Hazzards. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made, thank you.

_One, two, ready go!_

_You cry at movies, on our dates,_

_Romantic comedies sure are great…_

"K-Koizumi-kun!" Mikuru called, catching him just as he was about to leave.

Koizumi turned around, the ever-perfect smile in place, as always. "Ah, Asahina-san. Something wrong?"

"N-no…" she struggled out, trying to catch her breath. "Just, there's this new movie I wanted to see, and, well…I don't want to go alone…" she finished, looking embarrassed.

"Alone? What about Kyon-kun?" Koizumi asked in good nature.

"Ah, you see, well, he'd be a bit, um, distracted, I think, and I really just want to watch the movie," she explained.

"Oh, that makes sense. When is it?" he asked.

"Oh, I have tickets for tonight, at six O'clock!" she answered happily.

"Alright then, it's a date!" he grinned, and continued on his way home.

Mikuru sighed. _The good ones are always gay…_

* * * * *

"Ah…early as usually, Koizumi-kun?" Mikuru laughed, walking up to the movie theatre at Five-thirty to see Koizumi already standing there, his hands in his pockets, lounging against a wall.

"Asahina-san, hello!" he called out, walking towards her. "That dress you've got is very cute on you, by the way. I can see why you wouldn't want to come alone!" he laughed, but while she wasn't looking, cast a warning look at all the men eyeballing her. They immediately averted their gaze.

"Well, there's still about twenty-five minutes until we can enter the movie theatre, what do you suggest we do?" he asked, pleasantly.

Mikuru looked over to the small arcade attached. "Um…"

Koizumi produced his wallet. "What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn't treat a lady to a few games of her choice?" he grinned. Mikuru blushed and wandered over to the many loud, violent and bright games. She turned up her nose at the shooting games and made a face at racing ones, but her eyes lit up as they fell on a DDR machine.

"T-that, I mean, we have those where I come from, but they're a bit dif-" she cut herself off, looking fearfully up at Koizumi.

"Don't worry. I didn't hear a word,"

She smiled. "I don't know if I'll be any good at it, but would you like to play?"

He smiled again. "Of course."  
Setting the game up for a 'versus' match, Mikuru chose a relatively fast song by an artist called Riyu Kosaka.

"Uh, do you really think you should start the game on hard?" Koizumi asked, uncertain. She turned around and winked at him, tapping her nose as she did so. Koizumi felt extremely nervous, briefly wondering what he got himself into, before Mikuru stepped back onto her panels and the screen announced they were about to start. The arrows sped up the screen at an alarming rate, and Koizumi attempted to keep up, but it seemed as though Mikuru hadn't missed a beat, concentrating purely on the arrows. Once he found some kind of rhythm, he found it easier, but he was still missing several steps. Focusing on the arrows, he furrowed his brow in concentration, and jumped when the game announced the song to be over.

Mikuru looked at him, a slight blush on her cheeks, and giggled. He breathed heavily, trying to catch his breath, realizing that his hair was damp with sweat, and his shirt was sticking to him uncomfortably. He laughed along with her. "Well, that game certainly gives enough exercise, doesn't it?" he gasped out. She giggled and pointed to the clock. There was still fifteen minutes before they needed to go in.

"Uh…you play, I'll watch," he told her, collapsing on the ground.

They killed another ten minutes like this, and Koizumi finally convinced her to stop playing, as it was time to get their tickets checked and find their seats.

They were seated in the middle row, off to the right. Not terrible seats, but not the best ones, either.

"I'm just going to go get popcorn," he whispered to her, as the ads started playing.

He walked out into the small food area, and caught a snippet of conversation from a few guys around his age, but obviously, for lack of a better word, meatheads.

"Ah~ did you see the tits on that little redhead?"

"Yeah, and that guy she was with looks like a real pussy!"

"I say we make a move on her after she comes out of that movie, okay?"

Koizumi frowned, bought his popcorn, and went back to the movie without saying anything.

* * * * *

_But, when you're sad I'll try your tears,_

'_Cause I'll always think that,_

_You are fierce_

Mikuru patted Koizumi comfortingly on the arm as he stared at the end credits.

"B-but she…and his friend…why didn't she know…she could have stopped him…" he stuttered out, eyes welling up with tears.

"But it's okay, remember? She accepted that he was gone," Mikuru reassured him, holding out a tissue. Koizumi waved her away and sniffed. He sighed. "Some romantic comedy…it was sad…" he muttered, finally standing up to leave.

They pushed open the double doors and Koizumi spotted a bin to put his empty popcorn box in.

"Hey, I'm just going to go over to the bin, then to the bathroom, okay? Are you going to be okay waiting here?" he asked.

Mikuru smiled and nodded, so he turned and headed off in the direction of the bin, and men's toilets.

He shook his hands dry and casually looked down to make sure he'd zipped up, then noticed a slight commotion over near one of the racing games, in the small arcade.

_What on Earth…_ he thought, frowning.

"Ahh~ please, don't! Stop it! Wuah~" he heard a familiar voice coming from the center of things, and paled. He set off towards the group to see the same boys he had seen earlier, only this time, they had surrounded his friend and forced her into one of the seats for the game.

"S-stop!" she sobbed, trying to tug her skirt down while at the same time fending off attacks on her chest.

"HEY!" Koizumi yelled from where he was, still a few meters away. One or two of the guys looked up.

"Hey, look, it's that wuss she was with," one of them nudged the guy trying to get his hand under Mikuru's skirt, and they all turned to face him. He stared them down calmly.

"I do believe that what you're doing is highly illegal, not to mention rude and self-assuming," he smiled at them. The one standing in front made a 'tch' noise at him and smirked at his friends, before sneering at Koizumi. "And what do you think you're going to do about it, you pussy?" he asked, rousing the others into violent laughter.

"Well, I could always call the police," Koizumi mused. "I mean, that would be the proper conduct in this situation, wouldn't it?"

"Stop talking shit!" the second-in-command shouted at him.

"I am not, as you say, 'talking shit'. I'm merely pointing out what the law would require of me to stop your abhorrent behavior," he grinned back.

"I've had enough of your smart-mouth, pretty boy," one of them sneered. "Let's see how pretty you look with your face smashed to a pulp!" he growled as he stepped forward and swung his fist up to meet Koizumi's jaw.

He stared in disbelief at his fist, which had been stopped mid-strike by Koizumi. Koizumi smiled and held on to the boy's fist, showing no physical exertion whatsoever, though the meathead was struggling to pull his hand away.

"Please, I'm sure we can settle this without violence?" he flashes his pearly whites at the leader, who stepped out and attempted to punch Koizumi in the stomach, only to be stopped like his comrade.

"What are you waiting for? He's only got two hands! Get this bastard!" he shouted at his followers, two or three of which stepped forward nervously.

"He's right, you know, I do only have two hands. What can I do?" he asked them politely.

They looked at each other and surrounded him. Two went to punch his sides and one for the back of his head, but Koizumi was quicker. He released the two he had been holding and threw them into the ones at his side, and spun around to meet the one behind him, giving him a sharp uppercut to the jaw. He turned his head slightly and saw another one coming up behind up, and turned again, granting him a powerful kick to the stomach.

He quickly looked around for any more foes, but they seemed to have run off. The only ones left were the ones he had taken down, and even they were struggling to get up and flee.

"Terribly sorry about all that," he told them, flicking his bangs out of his eyes.

"K-Koizumi-kun," Mikuru gasped, from her position in the race-game seat.

"Asahina-san! Are you alright?" he asked, rushing over to her.

She nodded tearfully. "Thank you…for that," she said, looking at him in awe. "I didn't know that you could fight like that, outside of…well…"

He rubbed the back of his head and smiled. "Heh, well, I don't usually resort to violence. I'm sure I don't need to tell you, but I think it would be best not to tell Suzumiya-san or Kyon-kun about this, hmm?"

She nodded and struggled out of the seat. He presented his arm to her and they left the theatre, by now, definitely ready to go home.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer – I don't own The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi franchise, any of the characters, or scenarios. Haruhi and all related characters are the property of Nagaru Tanigawa. The song 'Gay Boyfriend' is written and performed by The Hazzards. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made, thank you.

Ring~

Koizumi flung out an arm to shut off his alarm clock.

Ring~

He groaned wearily and put his other arm over his eyes, still trying to find the clock.

Ring~

He opened one eye to find the offending object, and noticed it was only 6:30, still half an hour before he usually got up.

Ring~

He finally realized it was the sound of his doorbell going off, and flung off his blankets in his hurry to rush to the door and see who would show up at this ungodly hour.

Pressing his face to the spy hole, he cast his eyes towards the ceiling. Of course, who else but _Suzumiya Haruhi_?

Ring~

She pressed determinedly on the bell again. Not even wondering how she found out his address, he pulled the door open. Big mistake, he realized as soon as she cast her gaze over him. Being rather warm last night, he'd only slept in boxers.

_Well thank goodness I was at least wearing those…_ he thought wryly.

He flushed self-consciously.

"Ah, Suzumiya-san, what brings you here so early in the morning?" but tried not to show it.

He turned around and did a quick surveillance of his home. A ramen packet on the table, store-bought onigiri packets on his desk, and clothes on the floor in his bedroom.

"Can I make you some coffee, or anything?" he asked pleasantly, walking to the kitchen and kicking his bedroom door shut in the process.

"Koizumi-kun! Did you forget what day it is today?" Haruhi asked, though she was distracted by furtively glancing around the room. She was unabashed to be so close to him in his near state of undress, which was quite remarkable of her.

"Sugar?" he replied, simple.

"Uh, two spoons, thanks, and milk," she told him. "Koizumi-kun, today is the first casual dress day of the year!"

"Oh, is it?" he asked, feigning interest. "Did you want me to help you pick out an outfit?"

"No, I've come to pick out yours." She told him. He paled. Oh dear, he really should have remembered.

"Now, Koizumi-kun, where's your closet? Oh, never mind, I'll find it!" she flung open his bedroom door and calmly stepped over his school uniform, lying there from yesterday.

"You know, Koizumi-kun, I always figured you'd be more tidy. You're not nearly as bad as Kyon, but definitely not as neat as Yuki," she told him, as she pulled out items of clothing from his wardrobe.

He sighed, but resigned to let her do as she wanted. It wouldn't do to displease her, after all. He put two slices of bread into the toaster and pulled out the peanut butter from the pantry as they cooked. He was out of margarine, and at least with peanut butter it didn't need it. Forgoing his usual fruit juice in lieu of a strong coffee, he sat down at the small table in his kitchen and watched his clothing fly over onto his unmade bed. Haruhi was digging deeper into his closet the entire time.

"Ah! Finally! Why did you hide then so deep in the closet, Koizumi-kun?" Haruhi emerged, grinning widely and holding up the leather pants he had bought at their last shopping trip.

"Oh…no, Suzumiya-san, forgive me, but I couldn't possibly wear those," he tried to protest.

"Nonsense! You want to impress the bo- girls, don't you?" she argued.

He paled, she was obviously about to say something quite different.

"Suzumiya-san, may I inquire as to why you were going to say 'boys' originally?" he asked calmly.

"Um…just a slip up, I mean, I want to impress boys, don't I? You need to impress girls!"

Exhaling slowly, he examined her all-too-innocent expression.

"Suzumiya-san…did Asahina-san tell you?" he said, a tired expression on his face.

"No! …Yuki did," she told him.

"Ah, so Nagato-san knows…well, I suppose you can't take back what's already been said," he told her.

"So, you're not mad? Brilliant! Now where's that white shirt with the sleeves ripped off…" she wandered back into his room to look for the aforementioned shirt.

* * * * *

"Suzumiya-san…I really don't think this was such a good idea…people are staring…" he self-consciously crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Nonsense! That's exactly what we want!" she said happily from in front of him.

After a minor argument, she had forced him into the leather pants, white shirt, ordinary shoes and a chain belt. He felt very uncomfortable.

As they neared the gates to North High, he tried to hide himself behind her. She was wearing just an ordinary sundress, nothing as extravagant as she had forced on him.

"Koizumi-kun, what are you doing? If you hide, people won't see you!" she cheerfully pushes him beside her.

"That was the plan…" he muttered, blushing as somebody wolf-whistled.

She didn't hear him, or else she was just ignoring him.

"Oh, and Koizumi-kun," she started, turning to face him. "Make sure you're not late to the clubroom today, I've got a surprise for you," she said ambiguously, and winked before she ran off to hassle Kyon, who had arrived wearing faded jeans and an ordinary T-shirt. Koizumi envied him for not having to be dressed like some kind of Broadway musical gang member. He tugged at the leather surreptitiously. It really wasn't a very pleasant material to wear. He heard giggling from behind him, and turned to see three girls from his class whispering behind their hands.

When they saw him looking, however, they turned bright red, gave him a tiny wave, and ran off. He raised an eyebrow after them. Such strange behavior from usually serious girls.

As he walked into his classroom for home group, he saw the same three girls sitting at one of the desks.

"I've never seen that side of him before…" one was saying to the others.

"Do you think that's how he dressed before he came here?" another one suggested.

"Oooh, I've got an idea! What if he was a regular _bad boy_ at his old school, starting fights, and everything! Maybe he got chucked out!" the third one said excitedly.

He tried to keep quiet, but he just had to let out a chuckle at the last suggestion.

They turned to him, mortified.

"Koizumi-kun, we didn't see you there…" one started.

"Love the pants, look great on you, shirt too, maybe you should spike your hair or something…" another babbled.

He smiled at them. "Thank you, I actually felt rather self-conscious at wearing this today…you never know how people are going to react," he finished, winking.

They let out a fresh burst of giggles at this, and returned to their discussion.

Koizumi immediately felt more comfortable. Obviously, he didn't look bad – no, if their reaction were anything to go by, he looked damn good, so who was he to complain? Maybe Haruhi had some sense after all. Not much, but some.

* * * * *

"Koizumi-kun!" Haruhi shouted happily as he walked into the clubroom.

He started to greet everyone, when the energetic girl suddenly accosted him.

He stumbled but managed to stay standing when she practically barreled into him. That was, until she put her foot behind his knee and pushed him onto the floor.

He softened the impact by putting his hands behind him, and the last thing he saw before Haruhi's bountiful bosom neutralized his vision was Kyon, looking very annoyed, and clearly not wearing what he had come to school in.

He didn't get a good look at him until Haruhi got off him.

She straightened her skirt and put her hands on her hips, looking him over with approval.

"Didn't I tell you it would look good?" she beamed.

He suddenly became aware of something around his neck, and groaned inwardly. She had put a dog collar on him.

"Don't you dare try to remove it," she threatened. He didn't know what she would do if he disobeyed, but he didn't want to risk it, so obligingly dropped his hands from his neck and pushed himself off the floor.

He did a double take as he saw Kyon dressed in black cargo pants and a white shirt, only buttoned halfway up. Certainly not what he had been wearing this morning; Haruhi had obviously gotten to him as well.

"Uhm…" a small voice came from the corner. "Would you like some tea?"

He looked around to see Mikuru standing there, holding a tray of teacups.

"Yes! Tea! You need to relax to look good for your photo shoot!" Haruhi told them happily.

Koizumi pondered what she could be talking about, but didn't think too much on it. He took his cup of tea and thought that perhaps she was going to take shots of the members of the SOS Brigade in their casual clothes to put on their site.

Nagato took her cup without incident, and Haruhi gulped hers down immediately. Kyon took his, thanking Mikuru for her trouble, and she merely waved him off with a polite 'no problem!'

Haruhi cast her sharp eyes over to each member as they drank their tea, waiting for them to finish.

Koizumi didn't bother setting up a game, as he figured they wouldn't have time to finish it anyway.

Kyon deliberately sipped his tea slowly, blowing on it then taking a small sip and lacing it back on the table.

Haruhi crossed her arms and tapped her fingers on one of them.

Kyon casually reached for his cup, then withdrew his hand, as though changing his mind, and simply scratched his head before reaching for his book bag.

Seeing Haruhi's annoyed expression, Koizumi quickly drank the tea he was nursing, ignoring the burning feeling it left in his mouth.

Kyon took another small sip from his tea and put it back on the table defiantly. He didn't know what Haruhi had planned, but he was going to employ this delay tactic as long as he could.

Finally getting fed up, Haruhi walked over, snatched his cup out of his hand, and drank it herself.

"Hey-"

"Alright, now that everyone's finished their tea," she started. Koizumi wisely decided not to point out the Nagato hadn't even touched hers. "We can start!" she happily dragged Kyon into the middle of the room.

Koizumi smiled, relieved he didn't have to go first, when he was hauled out of his chair and forced onto his knees near Kyon. His eyes widened in alarm as Haruhi attached a leash to his dog collar.

"Koizumi, instead of just sitting on your legs, put your feet out to the side a bit so your bum touches the floor…" she told him, tugging at his legs. He obliged her, a bemused expression on his face. Kyon's eye twitched.

"Haruhi…what the Hell are you doing?" he asked.

"Silly Kyon, I'm taking provocative pictures so as to lure the female audience to our website once I upload them!" she said matter-of-factly. "The pictures of Mikuru-chan would only appeal to male viewers!"

Kyon didn't point out that he had never actually uploaded those pictures, so statistically, they had no viewers.

"Anyway, Kyon, hold this!" she shoved the leash into his hand. He dropped it.

"Kyon…" her eyes narrowed.

"No, you can't make me do this," he told her, beginning to walk over to his seat again.

"Kyon!" she grabbed his tie and pulled his face close to hers. "If you don't do this, I'm going to show everyone those pictures your lovely mother gave me last time I was at your house," she threatened.

Kyon paled. His mother had always been a bit batty, but letting Haruhi have _those_ pictures was just too much.

"…Fine," he reluctantly agreed.

"Good! Now, Kyon, you hold this leash!" she picked up the lead and again stuffed it into his hand.

"No, no, stand closer to Koizumi…Koizumi, look up at him – stop grinning!"

Haruhi eventually managed to maneuver them into satisfactory positions. She had Koizumi still on the floor, his hands in front of him between his legs, as he looked up at Kyon, who had been made to stand just a little behind Koizumi and off to the side, the hand holding the leash hanging loosely down his side and his other hand pushed into his hair a little bit at the front.

"Kyon – don't move your head, but look at the camera! And put your feet a little bit apart, too!" Haruhi gave a few final commands as Mikuru and Nagato watched on with awe and disinterest, respectably.

Haruhi started madly taking pictures, occasionally yelling out commands such as "Kyon- put that hand on Koizumi-kun's head!" or "Koizumi-kun, I told you to stop smiling!"

The only problem was, every time Haruhi commanded Kyon to touch him, he couldn't resist grinning slightly.

"Alright, done!" she said after taking numerous photos. Koizumi wasn't bothered, as he hadn't needed to look at the camera, but poor Kyon who had been forced to look straight at her was blinking and rubbing his eyes.

"Damn camera flash…now I'm blind…" he mumbled. "Is that all? Are we done?" he asked, stepping away from Koizumi and dropping the leash.

"Oh, no, only done with that pose! I have a couple more I want you to do!" she said cheekily, ignoring Kyon's groan.

"Kyon, stay there. Koizumi-kun, stand up!" she pulled him to his feet and shoves him into Kyon.

"Okay, Koizumi-kun, I need you bend slightly, so you're about a head shorter than Kyon!" she told him. Rather than inflicting that much strain on his knees, he knelt, instead. It achieved the desired result. Already being taller than Kyon, kneeling like this his head reached just up to the other boy's collarbone.

"Alright, now, put one hand above your head on his shoulder, and the other one just below your chin on his chest, and put your head against his chest!"

Koizumi's heartbeat quickened and he tried not to flush as he did as she told him.

"Kyon! Stop looking so uncomfortable! Don't force me to make you relax!" she warned.

"Okay, now wrap the leash around that hand, and put your other one just behind his neck – no, you're doing it wrong!" she walked over and forced him into the required position.

Koizumi bit his lip, as he was pressed closer against the other boy. He could feel the warmth radiating off Kyon's chest through the thin shirt, and almost pulled back each time Haruhi moved them so that more of Kyon's revealed torso was touching his skin. He had to resist from moving his hands at all, thinking it would be suspicious.

"Koizumi-kun, look kind of- oh, you're already doing it. Good job. And Kyon, lean your head down just a bit. Both of you, make sure your eyes are facing the camera," she once again took several shots, changing their positions every now and then.

"Hmm…alright, one more shoot for today!" she told them.

"For today? You mean we're going to have to do this again?" Kyon asked, annoyed. Koizumi was for once, glad that his pants were so tight. They certainly restricted anything from making itself known.

"Yes, again! Maybe tomorrow, I don't know, we need to get some uniform shots too, you know," she told him seriously.

"Now Koizumi-kun, lie on the floor – yes, on your stomach. Cross your arms in front of you and rest your head on them – no, tilt it slightly, and look straight ahead," Koizumi was getting rather good at following her instructions. An unbidden shiver went down him as he wondered what pose she would make Kyon take.

His question was soon answered and she pulled Kyon down on top of him.

Heat spread through his entire body as Haruhi forced the slightly younger boy to straddle his lower back, and he thought for sure Kyon would feel it when he put a hand on his shoulder blade. Thankfully, Kyon seemed to notice nothing out of the ordinary.

"Hmm…okay, don't support yourself on your knees, just sit on him, and put your knees up to either side," Haruhi decided to change the position, and Kyon's full weight was pressed onto Koizumi. Not that he minded, of course. He could feel Kyon shifting and buried his face in his arms to stop anybody seeing the blush that had spread to his cheeks. Willing it away, he vaguely noticed Kyon holding his leash with his other hand, and Haruhi telling him to rest that arm on his knee, before his head was forced back into the position it was in.

"That's right – both looking at the camera!" she snapped more photos than ever.

"This is great…has lots of appeal…" they could hear her muttering occasionally.

* * * * *

"Well, we're done for today!" she announced.

Kyon lifted himself up into a standing position, "Finally!" he said, stretching. "Honestly, what the Hell do you take me for, do you think that was enjoyable in the least?" he asked her.

She merely taps her nose at him. "Oh, I think it was more enjoyable than you let on, Kyon!" she told him happily.

Koizumi brushed himself off and picked up his bag.

"Well, if that's all for today, then I think I'll be off," he said, exiting the classroom. He was going to head home, and take his evening shower. And you can bet it was going to be a much colder shower than usual.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer – I don't own The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi franchise, any of the characters, or scenarios. Haruhi and all related characters are the property of Nagaru Tanigawa. The song 'Gay Boyfriend' is written and performed by The Hazzards. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made, thank you.

"That was an interesting club activity yesterday, wasn't it?" Koizumi asked as he met up with Kyon whilst walking to the clubroom.

Kyon merely grunted.

"I wonder whether we're going to need to do anything today…" Koizumi mused, a suspicious look coming across his face.

_You'd almost think he enjoyed it…_ Kyon thought uncomfortably as he pushed the door open, only to be met with a shriek.

He turned around and slowly closed it behind him, sliding onto the floor and sighing in exasperation.

_Why can't she ever remember to close the door…_ he thought with annoyance. He looked up to find Koizumi's disconcerting grinning face looking down at him.

Kyon shook his head, marveling at the insane crowd he'd fallen in to.

"Kyon~ get in here!" a voice yelled from inside.

Cautiously knocking on the door, he pushed it open to thankfully find Mikuru fully dressed in her usual maid outfit.

"Kyon-kun, would you like some tea?" she asked timidly, holding up the tray.

"No time for that!" Haruhi announced, slamming the door shut behind Koizumi.

Koizumi sat down in one of the hard-backed wooden chairs and crossed his legs, still smiling at the proceedings.

Kyon twitched at the calm expression on his face, not knowing that Koizumi's stomach was actually doing acrobatic flips greater than any of those seen in a circus.

"You're not planning another of those ridiculous photo shoots, are you?" he asked, glaring at her.

"Stupid Kyon, of course I am!" she announced, putting her hands on her hips and beaming back at him with ferocity.

He quailed under her stare. "Fine, fine, you can't do anything too outrageous since we're only in school uniform, at least…" he muttered, half to himself, or as it turned out, completely to himself, as Haruhi had turned around and was now striding towards the window, closing the blinds with a flourish.

"Suzumiya…what are you planning?" Kyon asked, narrowing his eyes.

Mikuru looked around nervously, and Nagato continued to read her book as Haruhi flicked the light on.

"Don't ask questions you don't want an answer to," Haruhi said cheerfully.

"I'm going to find out even if I don't ask, so why not?" Kyon replied, irritated.

"Kyon. Don't be so rude," Haruhi said, frowning at him. He rolled his eyes at her and folded his arms.

She glared at him for a moment longer before pulling the door open again.

"Koizumi-kun, come with me!" she said, motioning for him to go into the hallway.

"And Kyon – you stand there, and play along with whatever happens. Or else," she finished, darkly, as she closed the door behind herself and Koizumi.

_Play along…yeah, sure…_ he thought, staring at the closed door. The silence in the room started to overwhelm in, and he started a light conversation.

"So…do either of you two girls know what she's got in store for me?" he asked.

Nagato flipped another page of her book in response, and Mikuru blushed and started stammering.

"I…well, you see…I can't…it's uhm…" she said, busying herself over at the stove. Thankfully she was interrupted by the sound of Haruhi slamming the door open again.

_Honestly, the hinges are going to break if she keeps treating it so violently…_ Kyon thought, annoyed.

"Okay, Koizumi-kun, exactly as I told you!" she announced, holding up a video camera.

_Oh dear God, what is she about to make me do…_ he thought, before being answered in the form of Koizumi grabbing his tie and pulling Kyon's face close to his.

He smiled, and said quietly, "Sorry about this. Just following orders," before pressing his lips against Kyon's.

Kyon's eyes flew open in surprise, and his immediate instinct was to push the other boy away.

"What are you…" he sputtered, but it seemed Haruhi had planned for his reaction, as Koizumi grabbed his wrists mere seconds after being shoved away, raised both their arms above their heads, and pushed him against the wall.

Mikuru squeezed her eyes shut and looked away. Nagato didn't even bother looking up from her book, as Kyon's mouth was violated once more. Koizumi nudged his leg in between Kyon's, and he felt an unbidden heat spreading through his body. He struggled to pull his face away, but finally managed it.

"Dammit, Haruhi!" he gasped out. She just winked at him, and continued filming.

After losing possession of Kyon's lips, Koizumi wasn't deterred. Instead, he focused his attentions on Kyon's neck, biting and sucking with just the right amount of force.

Kyon's eyes rolled up slightly and against his will, his head dipped to the side to expose more of the sensitive flesh just below his ear. He vaguely noticed Koizumi's nimble hands loosening his tie and pulling his blazer off, and wondered when he had relinquished control of his hands. Clearly it didn't matter, since he seemed unable to do much anyway, as Koizumi's skilled mouth settled over his collarbone.

Mikuru turned bright red and covered her eyes with her hands, but couldn't resist looking through them every so often, at which point she'd squeak and cover her face again.

Even Nagato looked up slightly as Kyon let out a low moan at the feeling of the tongue occasionally brushing his skin.

He shuddered as Koizumi un-tucked his shirt and slipped his hands up under the material and over his chest, before circling around to his back and pressing himself closer to the other boy.

He only half-noticed that Haruhi was still filming, looking very pleased with herself, before Koizumi's warm mouth met his once again, only this time, he responded.

By now he'd completely forgotten what was going on, some kind of animal instinct pressed him to pull Koizumi's blazer off, and it dropped to floor along with his own blazer and tie.

He could feel a foreign tongue pushing his lips apart, and hapilly obliged, undoing Koizumi's troublesome tie as he did so.

Koizumi shifted against him, creating friction between their bodies, and Kyon growled low in his throat. Koizumi bit on his lower lip and pulled Kyon's shirt down over his shoulders, trapping his arms behind his back for a moment before the shirt joined the rest of the discarded clothing.

He heard a door close, but paid no attention as Koizumi's mouth was trailing down his neck and across his torso. As Koizumi bit down on his shoulder, he pulled their bodies even closer together, and Kyon could feel himself rising to the occasion. As he shifted again, his thigh brushed against Koizumi's groin, and the bulge he felt finally sobered him up.

_What the Hell am I doing?_ He thought, frantically. _This is another guy here, it's completely wrong…_ he told himself, even as the feeling of Koizumi's fingers brushing over his stomach made him get goose bumps all over.

_Damn Haruhi and her mad schemes…I won't play along with this any longer!_

He pushed Koizumi away from him, looked around the room to see that Mikuru had disappeared, and grabbed his book bag.

Sparing one last glance at around the room, he could see Koizumi looking disheveled and his chest heaving, which alerted him to his own state. He frantically grabbed his shirt, and bolted from the room, pulling it over his shoulders as he ran through the hallway.

Damn, he was going to have a lot to think about tonight, and Hell to pay tomorrow, judging by Haruhi's furious look as he left.

_A/N – I tried something different here, writing from Kyon's POV instead of Koizumi's, which I usually do. I think it worked out okay, but after all, it's up for you to decide._

_Also, I put my Author's Notes at the bottom, which I don't usually do…hallways through writing this; I contracted a massive headache, and had to stop for a while. If you notice a change of the pace, or style of writing, that's probably why. Anyway, I'll await your feedback to tell me what you thought._


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer – I don't own The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi franchise, any of the characters, or scenarios. Haruhi and all related characters are the property of Nagaru Tanigawa. The song 'Gay Boyfriend' is written and performed by The Hazzards. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made, thank you.

Koizumi sighed as he walked to school, carrying a separate bag for Kyon's neatly folded blazer and school tie. He had left the previous evening without picking them up.

"Ah – Kyon-kun," he called out, catching sight of Kyon's figure.

At the sound of Koizumi's voice, Kyon visibly stiffened, and turned around to face him.

"Koizumi, what do you want?" he said shortly, looking around nervously.

Koizumi smiled his usual, everyday smile, trying to ease Kyon back into accepting things were normal.

"You left these last night, I was just returning them to you. I'm afraid I didn't have time to wash or iron them, and they may be a bit creased after being in my bag last night," he said, holding out the bag.

Kyon snatched it off him. "Thanks," he said shortly, and sped up.

Koizumi sighed again. _He must surely hate me now…_ he thought miserably, walking to his shoe locker.

_Suzumiya-san may think she's being helpful…there's no way I can tell her to stop, or even to refuse, though…_ he mused, once he'd changed to his indoor shoes and entered his classroom.

As the teacher came in and began taking the roll, he leaned his chin on his hand, ignoring the sighs of the three girls who hadn't taken their eyes off him since the casual dress day, and releasing a petulant sigh of his own.

"Oh, I wonder what he's thinking…" one of them whispered, answered by a flurry of giggles.

Pulling out his textbook and preparing the study of a lesson he'd already been taught, he allowed his mind to wander back to the day before.

Heading to lunch in the cafeteria, Koizumi now regretted letting his mind stray. It hadn't made for a comfortable few lessons.

"Ah, Koizumi-kun!" a voice called behind him. He turned to see Mikuru making her way through the throng of people, carrying a school lunch tray with a sandwich, some juice and fried eggs on it.

"Oh, Asahina-san, forget your lunch again?" he asked, pleasantly. She nodded, and followed him to an empty table. Koizumi received some glares from the other boys in the lunchroom, but hardly noticed.

"S-so, yesterday…that was…uhm…interesting…" she said, blushing, as she picked at her lunch.

"Oh, yes, it certainly was. I wonder if Suzumiya-san is going to be doing anything with that footage," he answered vaguely, deliberately ignoring her unasked question.

"It's remarkable that Kyon-kun even played along…" she added.

"Why, yes. Suzumiya-san did tell me what to do if circumstances went in a more unfavorable direction," he smiled.

"No, I was thinking that…well…you seemed to…uhm…enjoy it…" she said, uncertainly.

"Shall I make a joke about myself being a man-loving poof now or later?" he asked, tiredly.

She looked down hastily.

"Oh…Asahina-san, I apologize…it has been a tiresome morning for me…" he told her, feeling guilty. He ran a hand through his hair, and reached out to pat her on the shoulder.

"Perhaps this is…not an agreeable topic," he suggested, and she nodded. Talk of club activities for today carried them over for the rest of lunchtime.

Koizumi opened the door to the clubroom to find Mikuru busy at the stove, Kyon slouching in a chair and scowling, and Nagato in her usual place, reading a book. Haruhi was sitting on the desk, staring at the door, and once Koizumi walked in, she jumped up with excitement.

"Koizumi-kun! Good, now I can finally make my announcement!" she said excitedly.

"Oh, joy," Kyon muttered from his place at the table, as Koizumi stood awkwardly by the door.

"We've done a summer vacation, a winter vacation, searches through the city, but our club still needs another activity, to help us bond!" she said, pacing around the middle of the room and gesturing enthusiastically.

"Ah, and what would this activity be?" Koizumi smiled at her, to be met with a huge grin in his direction.

* * * * *

It was not a good morning. Making the usual trek up the hill didn't even bother him as much as usual; it was the thoughts from yesterday that plagued Kyon's mind.

_Honestly…she must have put something in my food…or drink…_ he thought, moodily. _I clearly wasn't thinking straight. No pun intended._ He decided as he neared the school gates.

"Ah – Kyon-kun!" a familiar voice caught his attention, and Kyon stiffened.

_Oh, this is just what I need…_ he thought to himself, turning to face Koizumi.

For some reason, he was unable to meet the other boys' gaze, and instead cast his eyes around for something else to look at.

"Koizumi. What do you want?" he asked, trying to cut the conversation to a minimum.

Koizumi smiled that infuriating smile of his, and Kyon felt an unnecessary shudder, remembering the last time he'd seen it.

"You left these last night, I was just returning them to you. I'm afraid I didn't have time to wash or iron them, and they may be a bit creased after being in my bag last night," he said, holding out a separate bag he was carrying.

Kyon grabbed them quickly. "Thanks," he said, and turned away, eyes wide.

_Damn that Haruhi…_ he thought as he walked to class.

"Ah-ha, Kyon!" Haruhi said, upon catching sight of him.

He glared at her, and she just grinned wider.

"Enjoyable activities yesterday, no?" she asked cheekily.

"No."

"Oh, come now, don't be a fun-killer. You sure look like you enjoyed it~" she said in a singsong voice, as he finger waved in front of her, finally freezing whilst pointing somewhere in the vicinity of his crotch. He blushed, and sat down quickly.

"Do you have anything relevant to talk to me about, or do you just insist on making unfounded accusations?" he asked her, not turning around.

"Yes! I've come up with a new club activity!" she announced happily.

"Wonderful. What is it?" he questioned, fearing the worse.

"Well, you'll have to wait until the Brigade meets before you find out," she said, tapping her nose.

He put his head in his hand and sighed. It was going to be a long day.

Once lunch came around, Haruhi rushed out of the classroom, probably to sort these new 'Club activities' she'd come up with.

"Honestly, Kyon, why do you still hang out with her?" Taniguchi asked him, coming over to his desk.

"For the witty conversation," Kyon answered lightly, leaning back and resting his hands behind his head.

Taniguchi looked at the empty doorway Haruhi had disappeared from.

"Right. Well, it's on your head I suppose. Just don't expect me to pay for your funeral. What have you got?" he asked, holding up his brown paper lunch bag.

"Food, which I plan on eating. By myself," Kyon answered him, reaching forward to lift up his desk.

"Oh, come on! You've got to share; I hate fried eggs…" he muttered, looking into his own bag.

"Fine, fine. My sister made my lunch today, though, so good luck," he sighed, holding out his lunch.

"Well, it has to be better than mine," Taniguchi told him, dropping his own bag on Kyon's desk and taking the pilfered food off to his own seat.

Kyon looked at the clock on the wall, and wondered what on Earth Haruhi had come up with now.

He carefully knocked on the door, to be answered with a loud 'Com in!" from Haruhi.

Walking into the clubroom, he saw Nagato in her usual seat, reading, Mikuru holding a tray with several teacups on it, one of which he took for himself, and Haruhi sitting on her desk playing with another armband.

"Ah, Kyon's here! Good, now we only need to wait for Koizumi-kun!" she announced cheerfully.

Kyon sighed and sat in a seat at the table.

_Great. Koizumi. I wonder what 'fun club activity!' she's got planned for us today_

He thought, grumpily, and glared at the desk.

_This is all her fault. Wait, what's all her fault? The fact that I actually…okay, I'll admit it, kind of enjoyed…kissing…Koizumi, yesterday? That's impossible. He's a guy, and I don't like guys. _He told himself firmly, as the door opened.

"Koizumi-kun! Good, now I can finally make my announcement!" Haruhi said, getting up.

"Oh joy," Kyon muttered sarcastically, as Koizumi stood like an idiot in the doorway.

"We've done a summer vacation, a winter vacation, searches through the city, but our club still needs another activity, to help us bond!" Haruhi announced with her usual over-the-top enthusiasm.

"Ah, and what would this activity be?" Koizumi asked, grinning that stupid grin that annoyed Kyon so much.

Haruhi beamed at him, and took in a deep breath.

"A camping trip!" she announced dramatically.

_**Oh boy…**_ were the twin thoughts of equal trepidation and unease from the two boys of the club.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer – I don't own The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi franchise, any of the characters, or scenarios. Haruhi and all related characters are the property of Nagaru Tanigawa. The song 'Gay Boyfriend' is written and performed by The Hazzards. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made, thank you.

_A/N - Wow…seven chapters, and it's still getting hits and reviews? I'm honored…usually my fics peter out in the amount of reviews they get, thus causing lack of motivation, less chapters…a big, vicious cycle. I must thank my consistent reviewers and readers, you make my day with your lovely comments!_

Kyon trudged behind the group, carrying his camping bag, as well as Mikuru's bag and Nagato's. Thank the higher entities that Nagato packed light.

He glared at the back of Koizumi's head, envying him for only having to carry his own bag and the cooking supplies.

Haruhi marched on ahead, her backpack over her shoulders, shouting enthusiastically back to the group.

Kyon wasn't paying attention, and continued his ever-productive activity of trying to glare a hole through the back of Koizumi's head.

Koizumi grinned uncomfortably at nobody, more as a reflex. He could feel Kyon glaring daggers behind him, and wondered whether he was still mad about the incident the other day.

"All right, nearly there!" the frequent commentary of Haruhi rang out from ahead. She was in denim shorts and a tank top, considering the weather. Nagato had on her school uniform, and Mikuru was wearing yet another of her sundresses. Koizumi and Kyon were wearing simple trousers and shirts, not wanting to get anything too dirty or ruined, depending on the activities Haruhi had in mind for them.

"Ah ha! Here we are!" Haruhi announced, finally ending their uphill journey to stop at a relatively flat clearing. They were camping on the mountain behind Tsuruya-san's house, and Haruhi had invited her, but she'd politely declined, saying she wouldn't want to impose on their 'club activities'. The last part she had said whilst trying to suppress her usual laughter.

Mikuru sat down on a nearby log with a sigh of relief.

"Ah, Mikuru-chan, buck up! You weren't even carrying anything!" Haruhi said, draping herself over Mikuru's back and pinching her cheeks. Mikuru squeezed her eyes shut in protest.

Kyon dropped the bags he was carrying unceremoniously into the center of the clearing. Haruhi glared at him.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Set up the tents!" she told him. Kyon sighed.

"How many do I have to set up…?" he asked, not really caring about the answer, since he was going to have to do it anyway, but wondering how much physical labor she had just assumed he would do.

"Just two! The bigger one is for the girls, the other for you two!" she told them, pointing at Kyon and Koizumi. "Koizumi-kun, you help him. Mikuru-chan and I are going to go collect water," she announced imperiously, pulling the exhausted Mikuru up and dragging her off through the trees.

Kyon sighs, as usual. "That Haruhi…what does she expect…" he muttered to himself.

He picked up the bag with the tents in it with another sigh.

"Koizumi, you do this one," he said, tossing one of the tents over to Koizumi.

Koizumi caught it, barely keeping his balance, and smiled. "Of course. Just over here, then?" he asked politely, making conversation whilst Nagato took out a book from her own bag.

"I don't care, wherever," Kyon told him, seeming distracted.

Koizumi dumped the pieces out of their bag, and looked at them, wondering which piece went where. He picked up two of the long poles, and tried to fit them together, with little success.

After a few minutes of fumbling around with the poles, he noticed Nagato standing near him, looking up from her book. Wordlessly, she pointed to one of the poles, and then to a clip, then to another pole. He attempted to fit them together in that order, and finally succeeded. The rest of the tent was put up with her silent instruction, while Kyon cursed and muttered to himself behind them.

Koizumi stood back to make sure he'd put the tent up correctly, and bumped into Kyon doing the same thing.

"Hey-" Kyon started, turning around, but cut himself off upon seeing Koizumi's tent. Compared to his own, it looked like Buckingham palace.

"Would you like some help putting that tent up?" Koizumi asked pleasantly.

Kyon grumbled, but started to pull apart the lopsided tent anyway.

By the time Haruhi and Mikuru had gotten back, they'd finished putting up both tents, and were sitting on two more log-benches, grumbling and reading an English text, and smiling whilst crossing his legs, respectively.

"You put them up! Good! Kyon, I bet you had to have Koizumi-kun help you, right?" Haruhi teased. Kyon glared at her, and went back to his text.

"New orders!" she announced. Kyon rolled his eyes, but finally put the book away.

"You two are to go off to find wood, whilst me and the girls will set up the bedding!" she said happily.

"Why do you get the easy jobs?" Kyon asked under his breath.

Haruhi narrowed her eyes at him. "Now, go find that wood!" she told them, hands on her hips.

Koizumi followed Kyon out through the trees, trying to stop his mind thinking of the possible double meaning of Haruhi's words.

Kyon walked ahead, picking up bits of broken trees, twigs, and anything else that seemed vaguely burnable.

"Here, you carry this," he said briefly, shoving the wood into Koizumi's arms. Koizumi held it in front of him without protest.

"Kyon-kun, have you been camping before?" he asked, making small talk.

"No."

"Have you ever wanted to go camping?" he tried again.

Kyon sighed, knowing he wasn't going to get Koizumi to shut up.

"Maybe, when I was younger. But my family didn't really have time, and now I don't really care. What about you?" he replied, absently.

He looked around after a few seconds.

"Koizumi? It's not like you to stop talking, you know," he said, turning around to see if the other boy had wandered off.

Koizumi was doubled up on the forest floor, clutching his middle and breathing heavily.

"Woah – hey, what's the matter?" Kyon asked, walking back over to him. He saw the wood that had been scattered around when Koizumi dropped it, and had a thought.

"Did something bite you? Oh man, let's get you back to the campsite. Can you walk?" he asked, a hint of worry in his voice.

Koizumi tried to get up, but stumbled forward. Kyon grabbed the other boy's arms out of reflex, and draped an arm around himself.

"Okay, I'll help you get back…come on…" he muttered, deciding Koizumi was heavier than he looked.

They stumbled through the grass, Kyon whilst trying to avoid any other possible bites, and Koizumi trying not to let out any sounds of pain. He was sure Kyon wouldn't appreciate it.

"Hey! Haruhi!" Kyon called, once they made it make to the clearing.

"Where's the wood? Don't tell me you guys forgot – what's wrong?" she said, coming over to them.

"I think something bit him…do we have a first aid kit?" Kyon told her.

Mikuru, who had followed behind Haruhi, nodded, and hastened to go get the kit.

Kyon helped Koizumi into their tent, and Haruhi forced him to lie down.

"Take your hand off it – let me see," she ordered, dragging his hand away from the injury in question.

She pushed his shirt up, and cringed at the large red mark on Koizumi's skin.

"It looks like a spider bite…probably not life threatening, it's more the size of the bite that's causing the pain, rather than any poison…" she muttered to herself.

"Oh, you're an expert now?" Kyon asked, masking any worry he may have with the usual sarcasm.

"Actually, Kyon, I joined the first aid club for a week when I first started. It was just my luck they were doing bites and stings," she told him, annoyed.

"A-ah, here…" Mikuru's timid voice announced from the tent flap, and Haruhi took the first aid box off her without thanks.

She started rooting through it, finally emerging with a tube of cream. "This will make the stinging stop, Koizumi-kun," she said, surprisingly reassuringly, and squeezed a fair glob onto her hand. She rubbed it carefully onto his skin, watching for any signs of discomfort or pain. There were none. Koizumi was relieved at the soothingly cool feeling of the ointment on his skin, which seemed to have been burning up.

"Re-apply that if it keeps hurting, Koizumi-kun," she told him, putting the tube next to his arm. "Kyon, come with me. We still need to set up some more things," she said to the other boy, standing up outside the tent. He followed her, and her subsequent instructions.

Koizumi didn't know how much time was passing. Unable to sit up very high, apart from the elevation a few pillows gave him, he couldn't do much. He put the ointment on whenever he felt pain again, like Haruhi had told him, and in the meantime, started to read a book.

He wasn't very successful, though, seeing as his mind kept wandering back to the fleeting look of worry Kyon had sent him, and the way he was helped back to their camp. He ma have been in a lot of pain at the time, but he could remember having his arm pulled over Kyon's shoulders, and Kyon's hand around his waist.

"Oi," came a voice from the tent opening.

Koizumi looked up from the book, not overly surprised to see Kyon.

"Has Suzumiya-san exhausted all her reasons to keep you working?" he asked, smiling.

"Probably. I think she only does it because it amuses her, me having to exercise," he answered, ducking under the door of the tent and letting the flap swing shut behind him.

"She told me to come check on you, though," he said, looking uneasily at the red welt on Koizumi's middle.

"Oh, I think I'm doing fine. I haven't had to reapply it for a while now," he told him, grinning. "It doesn't look very nice, but I assure you it's not as bad as it was."

Kyon sighed. "Haruhi said your skin was practically burning before, and I have to check on it," he told Koizumi, casting his eyes around.

"Oh?" Koizumi answered, wondering what that implied. "Go right ahead."

Kyon held his hand out, and hesitated a moment.

_What are you waiting for? You're just checking to see if his skin is still red-hot. So what does it matter if it's his stomach, there's nothing sexual or anything about that…_

Kyon thought to himself, his hand hovering over Koizumi's middle. He discreetly poked himself in his own stomach for reassurance.

_There, see, absolutely nothing_ he reassured himself. He noticed Koizumi's look of confusion, and realized he must look odd, making such a big deal of this.

Looking at the side of the tent, he placed his hand over the bite mark, noticing how warm Koizumi's body was in the process.

_Is that regular warmth? Or is it from the bite? _He wondered to himself, moving his thumb over the welt to see whether it had gone down. Aside from the still slightly protuberant bump on his navel, Kyon couldn't help but notice how smooth the rest of Koizumi's skin was.

_Why are you even thinking this…stop it…_ he continued to argue with himself.

From the moment Kyon's hand had made contact with his skin, Koizumi had felt himself blush. When Kyon had moved his thumb, Koizumi had to bite his lip. Now, it seemed Kyon had become completely distracted, and was running his hand over the mark, passing over it and onto the rest of Koizumi's stomach, seemingly not noticing himself doing so.

Koizumi fought hard to keep himself from pressing forward into Kyon's hand. It was only his navel, but he knew exactly what effect it was having on him.

A small noise escaped the back of his throat.

"Oh – sorry, did I hurt you?" Kyon asked, taking it the wrong way.

Koizumi sighed inwardly with relief. "Ah…no, it's fine," he told the other boy.

_That doesn't actually feel so bad…and what was that noise…?_ Kyon thought to himself, still absently running his hand back and forth.

His hand bumped against the top of Koizumi's trousers, and he finally came to his senses.

_What…what are you doing? _His mind asked him, and he drew his hand away slowly.

_It…I didn't do anything deliberately…I got lost in thought that's it…_ he told himself, finally looking down at Koizumi.

_Besides, it was only his middle…if he was uncomfortable, he would have told me so._

Kyon took in Koizumi's reddened cheeks, and slightly heavy lidded eyes.

_Oh God…no he wouldn't have…look at him, he wanted me to use more than just my hand…_ he thought to himself.

_That time in the clubroom was only for Haruhi's video, right? He doesn't actually want…but even if he does, that doesn't mean I enjoyed right? It's not like…oh…damn, I have to spend all night in this tent with him, don't I…_ he realized.

"I…uh…I had better see what Haruhi's getting up to. Wouldn't want her to burn down this place, or anything…" he muttered, leaving as quickly as he could, without drawing suspicion to himself.

Koizumi looked after in, slightly disappointed.

_It's not possible, is it? _


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer – I don't own The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi franchise, any of the characters, or scenarios. Haruhi and all related characters are the property of Nagaru Tanigawa. The song 'Gay Boyfriend' is written and performed by The Hazzards. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made, thank you.

_A/N – Alright, I'm asking my readers for a vote. Should I include a sex scene in this story? I'm not sure it would fit, but there's definitely not enough Koizumi/Kyon fics out there…it's up to you!_

Kyon sat bolt upright in his shared tent, chest heaving, and looking around wildly.

He looked down at the sleeping boy next to him, and thought one thing – _Shit._

*Several hours earlier*

"Come on, Kyon, tell us a ghost story!" Haruhi demanded of him. He rolled his eyes.

"I told you, I don't know any ghost stories!" he said, exasperated.

"Fine then, I'll tell one…" Haruhi started.

They were situated around a campfire, Kyon was next to Mikuru, Koizumi was on a log with Nagato who was still reading, and Haruhi was seated on her own tree stump.

They had run out of marshmallows to roast earlier, and so Haruhi had drawn them into another campfire tradition – ghost stories.

As she finished her tale with a flourish of her arms, a completely insane look of her face, Mikuru let out a little shriek and clutched at Kyon's arm.

He started and blushed slightly at the feeling of her breasts pressing against him, glad that it was dark, save for the firelight.

Haruhi cackled madly at her reaction. "Mikuru-chan, were you scared? Maybe the murderer will come visit you tonight!" she screeched, excitedly, looking at Mikuru as she buried her face into Kyon's chest. "Hmm…perhaps to protect you, I'll have to sleep in the same sleeping bag…huh, would you like that, cute little Mikuru-chan?" she asked, lecherously, walking over to start another of her favourite pastimes – abusing Mikuru.

As she tugged, bit, and snuggled alternatively with the petite girl, Kyon's mind wandered.

_Ah…see, of course I still feel attracted to Asahina-san…that thing earlier with Koizumi was just a fluke, wasn't it…_ he reassured himself.

Haruhi tried to make them play some kind of game, but Kyon insisted that it was too dark.

Her face fell for a moment, but she brightened almost immediately. "Okay, tomorrow then!" she announced, happily.

Soon after, Mikuru complained about being eaten by mosquitoes, and they decided to turn in.

Yawning, Haruhi ushered Mikuru into their tent, still making lewd comments, and Nagato followed.

Kyon tried not to pay attention to the sounds of people changing coming from inside the tent, then realized Koizumi had already disappeared inside theirs.

He walked in, to find Koizumi already changed into a pair of tracksuit pants and an old black T-shirt that had a faded rainbow on it.

He cleared his throat and pulled out his own change of clothes, but suddenly felt uncomfortable. Deciding just to leave his own tracksuit pants on, the ones he had worn during the day, he only shed his shirt in favour of a long sleeved blue top.

Stretching out his muscles, tired from sitting on that log for so long, Kyon yawned, casting his eyes to his inflatable bed and sleeping bag.

"You don't want to read or anything, do you Koizumi?" he asked, just wanting to turn their small lantern off and get to sleep.

"Oh, no, I'm fine," Koizumi said, smiling.

"Oh, good, well, goodnight then…" Kyon said warily, easing himself into his sleeping bag. Koizumi did the same.

"Goodnight." and turned out their light.

_Warm hands…a flash of brunette hair…a familiar grin…heavy breathing, gasping, moaning…a hot, easily recognized mouth pressed against his skin…_

Kyon woke suddenly, sitting up, and looking down at the sleeping boy who had so recently been in his mind.

_Shit…_ he thought to himself, wondering what the Hell his subconscious was going on about.

He remembered sounds he couldn't possibly remember Koizumi making, and flushed. It suddenly felt much too hot in that little tent, and he had to get out into the fresh air.

Trying to be as quiet as possible, he slipped from his sleeping bag, and unzipped the tent, closing it behind him. He went to sit on the stump Haruhi had vacated earlier, and rested his chin on his hand, looking out into the dark sky, hearing the peaceful night sounds around him and the cool air returning his body to it's normal temperature.

* * * * *

Koizumi drowsily opened his eyes at the sound of the zipper for the tent closing, and noticed Kyon's absence.

He shook his head slightly to clear his still sleep-addled mind, and wondered if something was wrong.

_Probably just gone to the 'toilet'…_ his mind muttered, eager to get back to sleep. He lay awake for about ten minutes, and when Kyon's didn't return, he started to worry.

He struggled out of his sleeping bag and opening the tent's door, peering out into the darkness to see Kyon sitting on a stump, staring into space, a troubled look on his face.

He walks out of the tent, and over to Kyon, and became concerned when Kyon didn't even seem to notice him standing right behind him.

He cleared his throat to get Kyon's attention, and Kyon jumped.

"Oh, Koizumi, did I wake you up?" Kyon asked, turning around.

"Oh, no, well yes, but I'm not blaming you for it. Is something wrong?" he asked, looking at Kyon, clearly having an internal argument with himself.

"No…yes…I don't know! Dammit Koizumi, ever since that…video…in the clubroom…" he trailed off, unsure how to even word what he wanted to say.

"Kyon-kun, I've apologized many times, it really-" Koizumi began.

"No. It's not that."

Koizumi's eyes widened.

"It's just that…dammit, ever since then, I don't know…I want to know what this weird feeling inside me whenever I see you!" he blurted out ineloquently.

"Ah, I see…" Koizumi muttered. "Perhaps you were curious, or your body was just reacting to outside stimulus?" he suggested helpfully.

Kyon sighed. "I don't know. I like A- er, girls…right?" he was almost asking Koizumi.

"If you like, I could help you to figure it out, with nobody around…" Koizumi suggested.

Kyon looked up at him carefully, trying to detect any signs of a joke. Koizumi's face was dead serious.

He seemed to debate the offer in his mind, and looked unsure. "Well, if it doesn't mean anything…and nobody finds out…you can't tell anybody…then…Okay," he finally said.

Not allowing even a tiny sliver of doubt to cross his mind, Koizumi bent down to press his lips against Kyon's in a light kiss, letting Kyon dictate whatever pace they were going to move at.

Kyon unconsciously leaned into the kiss, remembering the last encounter, and liking this one much more now that there was nobody yelling and filming. He brought his hand up to the back of Koizumi's head tentatively.

Encouraged by Kyon's actions, Koizumi deepened the kiss, bringing his hand up to the back of Kyon's neck and letting his other hand slide down to Kyon's side.

Kyon had no idea what came over him, but he knew this felt…good. He pushed his hand up under Koizumi's shirt, relaxing at the familiar feel of his Koizumi's stomach.

Koizumi took this as a good sign, and saw fit to lower himself from his uncomfortable position standing up and bending to Kyon's level. He eased himself onto Kyon's lap, straddling him, and brought the hand on Kyon's side around to his back, pressing their bodies flush together.

Kyon could feel heat being directed to a specific part of his body, but didn't mind so much this time. Koizumi moved on top of him, and he let out a small groan, breaking contact with their lips.

Koizumi looked at him through heavy lidded eyes, and descended once more. Kyon looked away, trying to figure out exactly what was happening, and Koizumi froze, his forehead resting against Kyon's shoulder.

"I'm sorry…did I…overstep my boundaries?" he asked, breathlessly. Kyon replied by tangling his hand in Koizumi's hair and pulling his head back, crashing their lips together again.

This time it was Koizumi who let out a small moan, and Kyon could feel it go right through him, straight to his groin. Automatically, he pressed his hips up into Koizumi, who gasped.

Koizumi ran his tongue along Kyon's lips, seeking entrance, which Kyon readily granted. Kyon moved his hand further up the other boy's chest, grinning into Koizumi's mouth as his hand ran over a nipple, causing Koizumi to arch forward.

Koizumi retaliated by skillfully pressing his pelvis down, forcing Kyon to release another moan.

"What are you two doing?" a girl's voice came from behind them. Both froze. Koizumi looked around, to see Haruhi glaring at them, and he pulled Kyon closer on reflex, before realizing what he was doing.

"Ah…Suzumiya-san…" he started.

"No. Nevermind. I'm going back to bed. You two should as well, before you wake up poor little Mikuru-chan and Yuki-chan," she said, yawning and disappearing back inside her tent.

Feeling awkward, Koizumi lifted himself off Kyon. He looked away.

"I suppose she's right, she's probably going to have some strenuous activity planned tomorrow," he said, not letting himself wonder what the other boy now thought of him.

"Koizumi, what-"

"Goodnight," Koizumi said shortly, and ducked back into the tent.

"Koizumi, wait!" Kyon hissed after him, following him.

"Kyon-kun, please don't bring it up again. Like you said, it didn't mean anything," Koizumi told him, zipping up his sleeping bag.

"Yeah…but…" Kyon had no idea what he was going to say. "Is that…is that all…"

"Don't…just don't…" Koizumi said, a little sadly. "I may actually start to think you like me."

Kyon flinched at Koizumi's last words, unseen by the other boy, as he had rolled over onto his side.

…_Do I?_ He asked himself, knowing that this wasn't going to help him sleep at all.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer – I don't own The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi franchise, any of the characters, or scenarios. Haruhi and all related characters are the property of Nagaru Tanigawa. The song 'Gay Boyfriend' is written and performed by The Hazzards. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made, thank you.

_A/N – thank you for all the reviews, it's what inspired me to write this chapter so quickly, even though I should be working on other fics…_

_Besides, I couldn't leave you all wondering about poor Koizumi, could I?_

The following week was difficult. Haruhi had taken one look at Koizumi the morning they awoke on their camping trip, and declared it was time to go home.

Each time Kyon had tried to start a conversation, Koizumi would make an excuse and leave.

Kyon felt awful. It was only now that he realized how much he missed their pointless checkers and Othello games, even if he did always win.

It was unnerving; the way Koizumi's perfect smile would fade away when he thought nobody was looking.

"Koizumi-" Kyon tried to start a conversation after Club activities had finished for the day.

"Ah, sorry, Kyon-kun, I've got to head home, important things to attend to!" he had said cheerfully, and walked off quickly.

Eventually, Kyon decided that enough was enough.

"Haruhi," he said gruffly, standing next to her desk. She glanced at him, a disinterested look in her large brown eyes.

"Yes?" she said haughtily.

"Where does Koizumi live?" he asked, deciding that the best way to go about this was to get straight to the point.

She surveyed him. "Not telling~" she announced in a singsong voice. His face took on a shocked expression.

"What – why?" he stammered out.

"Because he doesn't want to see you," she said simply. "Even I can work that out. Talk to Mikuru-chan, maybe she'll talk to him for you."

"Asahina…san?" he repeated dumbly. He remembered all the times she had mentioned seeing Koizumi after school, heading to the cinema or to the shopping center, and felt like an idiot for not thinking of her sooner.

He had to wait until lunch break to find her, but as soon as the bell rang, he set off for the part of the school he knew second-years occupied. It wasn't difficult to find her, all he had to do was look out for Tsuruya's green hair and her loud laughter, and he had found Mikuru.

"Asahina-san!" he called out, not realizing how out of place he must look as a first year, seeking the attention of the second year heart throb. Thinking this, he had a sudden thought – hadn't he heard girls talking about Koizumi? Not only from his class, but in the cafeteria as well… Could it be possible that Koizumi was the most sought after, attractive member of his year? It would make his and Mikuru's friendship make much more sense – they had the fact that both had unwanted attention in common.

There was also the fact that all the girls seemed to adore Mikuru, and the guys in Kyon's year got along with Koizumi fairly well.

Kyon felt a blush rising in his cheeks – he was thinking about Koizumi on the same level he had thought about Mikuru! Did admitting that Koizumi was probably the king of their year level mean he himself thought him attractive?

_Of course you do…you can't even try to deny it. Or would you like me to remind you of what effect he has had on you previously? _His brain asked him. He decided to just accept that he was attracted to Koizumi – lest his mind let his body rediscover exactly what it thought of the other boy.

"Asahina-san!" he said again, catching her attention this time.

"Ah, Kyon-kun?" she asked in surprise. "What are you doing here – is something wrong?" she asked, her eyes going wide.

"No, not exactly…can I speak to you?" he asked, looking around uncertainly.

"Oh – of course!" she said, sliding out of her chair and following him into the hallway.

"What is it?"

"Well, it's uh…Koizumi. He's not talking to me…" he started awkwardly.

"Oh…yes, he did mention something…" she mumbled, looking down. "W-why are you talking to me about this?"

"Well…you two seem to have some kind of friendship…and I was hoping you could convince him to stop ignoring me…" he said, feebly.

"I…I can try, but I can't guarantee anything…" she told him. "Perhaps if you visited his apartment, it would be more difficult for him to avoid you?" she suggested.

"Er…where does he live?" Kyon asked her, feeling rather pathetic.

Mikuru smiled, and began giving him directions to the other boys' house.

* * * * *

And so it was that Kyon found himself banging on the door in an apartment block he'd never even seen before, for reasons unfathomable to even him.

"Koizumi! Open up, I know you're in there!" Kyon said loudly, even though he had no idea whether the Esper had gone out for the day, or anything like that.

He stood there for what felt like hours, but in reality was probably only ten minutes, before an irritable Koizumi opened the door.

"Stop that banging, you're going to break my door, and what would my landlord say?" he asked, a hard tone to his voice.

"I don't care what your landlord has to say, I'm going to stand out here until you decide to talk to me!" he informed Koizumi.

Koizumi could see the serious look in his eyes, and nodded, stepping aside to allow his visitor inside.

Kyon walked in apprehensively, taking note of how neat the place seemed at first, but on closer inspection, it wasn't so immaculate.

"So, was there something I could help you with?" Koizumi asked, closing the door behind him.

"Yes, there is!" Kyon announced, rounding on Koizumi. "What the hell are you playing at? First there was that weird photo shoot thing, then the video! Whose idea was that, really? Because I'm fairly certain you were enjoying that more than you let on!" he began to rant. Koizumi sat down on his own couch and let Kyon pace in his living room.

"And then you had to go and kiss me, and I know I said it wouldn't mean anything, but now I don't even know if I want it not to mean anything anymore!" he ran a hand through his hair, and sighed.

"It meant something to you, didn't it, so why are you pushing me away?" he asked, looking at Koizumi again.

"You keep avoiding me, and you refuse to talk to me, what's up with you? How do you know I'm going to reject any possible ideas or feelings you might have for me if you won't even let me talk to you?" he sat down heavily next to Koizumi.

Koizumi stayed silent for a moment, thinking over everything Kyon had told him.

"So…are you willing to try something with me…even though I'm another male?" he asked, skeptically.

Kyon started at the sudden and direct question.

"I-I don't know. I think…yeah, I could try that," he smiled weakly in Koizumi's direction.

Koizumi felt a blush spread across his cheeks.

"Well, that's excellent for me to hear, Kyon-kun!" he said, cheerfully. His entire attitude appeared to have changed.

Koizumi stood up, then leant down to press his lips against Kyon's. "I don't know exactly how we're going to go about this, but we'll figure it out, right?"

"Right…" Kyon echoed, feeling decidedly unsure about his entire decision.

At the precise moment in time, a woman stood outside, smiling as she heard what had just been decided.

_Those two always were a good couple…_ she mused to herself, as she took a cigarette out of a small silver case in her breast pocket.

_I'd almost forgotten about that video…I wonder if I can still find it…_ she mused, starting to walk away.

_I like, cigarettes, and that's no gag,_

_But you'll always be my favourite fag._

_You'll always be my favourite fag._

_You'll always be my favourite fag…_

The mature looking lady stopped and glanced back, hearing a shout of laughter coming from inside the apartment, and grinned again.

_My gay boyfriend, gay boyfriend,_

_I don't really care that you are queer._

She recalled the time Koizumi had stood up for her in the arcade, and felt a pang of longing for such simple times, before shrugging it off and disappearing down the street.

_My gay boyfriend, gay boyfriend,_

_I never feel lonely when you are near…_

_A/N – Okay. I apologize for ending on such a cheesy ending, but this really felt like the right chapter to end it with. If you haven't already, I recommend listening to 'Gay Boyfriend' by the Hazzards._

_Thanks to everyone who's stuck by me throughout this fic, you have my undying gratitude._

_Sorry to everyone who wanted to see a bit more lemon, but I started this fic on a light note, and didn't want to make it too heavy or serious._

_I am actually writing another fic, centered on Koizumi, which will eventually contain a lot more slash. The first chapter is uploaded, 'An Untold Story'. It may not seem very interesting at first, but it will get better…I hope._

_If you do like it, tell me what you think, and I'll get more up as soon as possible. It's been fun writing 'Gay Boyfriend', and perhaps I'll eventually write some kind of sequel or epilogue._

_Once again, thanks for reading, and I hope you aren't too disappointed by this chapter._


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